I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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