After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
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He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
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I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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