I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
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