the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
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