I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
How's work?
Spinning.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
