I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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