Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I just gargled with NyQuil
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
