What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
