I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
honey bunches of taint.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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