Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Randomize