Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I think people are normalizing furries
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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