What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
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