I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Success! We fucked roommates!
Randomize
