If i come over, it means nothing
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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