Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Just cropdusted the office
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
All the doctor said was why
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
