i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
