If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
