Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
