I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
