woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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