What did we do last night that was yellow?
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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