He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
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