walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
