you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
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Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
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I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
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