Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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