Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
