...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
