Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
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