filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
