So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
