The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize