I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I think im going to throw up on grandma
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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