Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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