It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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