Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
