I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
