the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
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and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
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Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
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