Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
