Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Randomize
