Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
