Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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