everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
