make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
