Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
