her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist