It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.