I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
There r osticjed everywhere
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina