talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Randomize
