ADVERTISEMENT

• (409): View more from Texas

  Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.

  Fav 12 1174 4379

  share tweet
  

• (347): View more from New York

  She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her

  Fav 10 4875 1276

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (734): View more from Michigan

  He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.

  Fav 4 815 1827

  share tweet
  

• (785): View more from Kansas

  Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.

  Fav 7 2469 1055

  share tweet
  
• 

  23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (540): View more from Virginia

  I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?

  Fav 22 2089 964

  share tweet
  

• (512): View more from Texas

  I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted

  Fav 4 1190 658

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (415): View more from California

  Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.

  Fav 1 710 630

  share tweet
  

• (901): View more from Tennessee

  First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.

  Fav 3 975 647

  share tweet
  

• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.

  Fav 1 633 471

  share tweet
  
• 

  These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (845): View more from New York

  You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..

  Fav 1 602 456

  share tweet
  

• (931): View more from Tennessee

  I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.

  Fav 0 612 393

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (+61): View more from Australia

  You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.

  Fav 1 633 376

  share tweet
  

• (715): View more from Wisconsin

  I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night

  Fav 0 362 247

  share tweet
  

• (512): View more from Texas

  i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids

  Fav 2 132 73

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (775): View more from Nevada

  I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.

  Fav 1 16 51

  share tweet
  

Randomize