Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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