Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Randomize
