using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
