I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
