I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I don't deserve a penis
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Randomize
