I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Randomize
