yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
