You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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