Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Randomize
