we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
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I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
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By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
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