Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I could make wine with my vomit
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
