I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
