I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"