Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Randomize
