I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Randomize