I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
only if we run a train.
done.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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