Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Everyone says I win the strip club
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
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