Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
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