my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I think my moral compass just broke
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize