Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
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